Have you read Natalie's blog over on natthefatrat.com? I'm pretty much in love with her quirkiness, and outlook on life...her adorable iPhone pictures through street mirrors and windows, and her adorable son Huck. But what i love most is how open and honest she is, and how i feel like i could, just be her best friend some day. She put a post up this week titled "Good Things Today" that literally brought me to tears, maybe i'm just super emotional lately, but it's great to feel connected to a person that you don't even know...and that i think, is what this whole blogging business it about. And i love it.
i was browsing through my blog today, reading old posts and cringing at the really bad photography that used to go down on the regular. sometimes i do that, read my own blog. i mean, that's the main reason i have a blog, because this is my journal. this is it. if it weren't public, my journal would basically be nothing but lists of things i want to buy and lists all the stuff i ate that day, and who would that be fun for? right soo.... i was reading my blog. i reread the paragraph i wrote about the playground at washington square the other day. i rolled my eyes at myself again (i rolled my eyes at myself as i wrote it). and then i suddenly had one of those moments where i felt god tap me on the shoulder, and i wanted desperately to go back in time so i could show 2009-me that exact post, that exact paragraph in particular. i could just picture it. i would have been in my car on my way home from work, and i would have stopped myself in the driveway, under the covered carport next to that little blue kitchen with the chalkboard wall through the window and my collection of glass jars, and i would have opened our laptop and said, "LOOK at this!" i would have gestured toward it wildly with emphatic facial expressions and said, "look at this, natalie! you are talking about swim diapers! this is going to happen!!!!!" and do you know what that would even do to a girl like 2009-me? oh man! just picturing it makes every possible thing feel possible again. do you know what i mean? and it makes me wonder about all of the amazing things 2013-me could say to today-me, if she came to me right now at the dinner table. (and what would she be wearing i wonder?) think of what even next-week-me could say that might blow my mind! sometimes i think about how close i might be to the moment that changes my whole world, and how often do i want to give up on it too soon, thinking i am still millions of miles away? how often do we despair unnecessarily? if we could only see the mere inches that stand between us and our goals, do you think we'd try even harder to get there? or just better enjoy the journey?
today i want to remind myself:
this journey is not so bad, today-me.
let's stop and enjoy it some more, huh?
yes, i think i will.
XO, Erin
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